Bitches, Man

When I was in high school and college, I was really good friends with this guy P. Then a couple years ago, I became crappy about staying in contact and didn't return a few of his calls. Eventually, we ended up falling out of touch.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that he died. So the next day, I decided it was high-time I email him. I wrote him the following email:

Hey P, I'm not even sure if you still have this email address, but I had a really weird dream about you last night and wanted to get back in touch. Sorry I became so shitty about calling and that I went MIA all this time. I miss you and you've been in my thoughts lately and I'd love to hear what you're up to, and maybe even get together the next time I'm in So Cal. Or better yet, have you come visit me in SF :)

My cell phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx, so get in touch when you can! Hope your family is doing well and that you are happy and still coaching.

Love,
LL

I didn't hear from him until a couple of days ago. And this is the email I got (Sorry in advance for the profanities.):

i jus wanted to tell u to fuck off! stop sending me emails. dont give a fuck whats goin on wit you. i have a fam. already.

I was floored. Definitely *not* the email I expected to get from him! I mean, can you imagine getting an email like that from an old friend?

Then, a little while later, this email came through:

Loved to hear from you. Obviously, there is lots to talk about. It's just my bitch is crazy. I wish I were cheating. Sorry you had to hear from her before me. Use this account and we will have no more problems. Can you send your number again? Looking forward to hearing all about your travels and experiences.
-P

What?!? Hah!

And the moral of this story is: bitches, man. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!

Fleet Week 2009

Oh, so you like Taylor Swift?

This is one of my favorite stories from M and J's beautiful Bodega Bay wedding last weekend. Midway through dinner at the reception, Jen, Erin and I were all thoroughly enjoying our wine. And so naturally, when the DJ played Taylor Swift's Love Story, we all busted out our fake microphones and belted it out, gesticulating wildly. Yes, at the dinner table. At a wedding reception. Classic and classy. (Really, the question is, how was everyone else *not* doing the same thing?)



Anyway, a few hours later, when I'd forgotten all about our Taylor Swift sing-along, I step off the dance floor for a brief respite, and this woman comes up to me and the following conversation ensues:

Woman: Oh, so you like Taylor Swift?
Me: Umm... yes? I'm Loreal, by the way.
Woman: Oh, hi, nice to meet you. Yeah, I saw you singing Taylor Swift during dinner.
Me: Oh yeah, there was actually a group of us singing. We love that song.
Woman: Oh really? I only saw you.
Me: Hah... *awkward silence*

Overall, it was a very fun weekend. And my biggest contribution was starting the world's greatest conga line. See photographic proof below. Oh, and a few other cute ones from the weekend are here, as well.

First Day of Fall

l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l

iness

--e.e.cummings

OMG Shopping!

On Saturday, Jen and I went downtown to go shopping for outfits to wear to an upcoming wedding. Overall, it was a fun (and successful!) shopping outing. But perhaps the highlight of the day was while we were rummaging through a bargain bin at Old Navy in search of V-neck t-shirts. (They were only $4!)

Two other women had the same idea as us, and as we four each made our way through the piles of fabric that lay before us, one woman -- a petite, non-Englsh-speaking Asian woman -- suddenly sneezed. And did NOT cover her mouth.

Jen and I were obviously quite grossed out by this and we even made eye contact disgustedly. But we were apparently not as affected as the fourth woman at the V-neck bargain bin -- one short, stout, and LOUD African American woman who suddenly barked at the sneezer, saying, "DID YOU COVER YO' MOUF WHEN YOU JUST DUN AND SNEEZED?"

The sneezer just stood there, silently and sheepishly. She obviously could not understand what was being said to her, but clearly knew that she was being scolded.

"I know you didn't, girl, because I jus felt that wind on the back of muh NECK!"

The sneezer walked away briskly to another part of the store as the scolder continued to pick up shirts from the bin, shaking her head. "That is just NASTY!" she continued. "Germs all up in here! No no NO!"

I turned around so she couldn't see me and giggled. Jen piped up and said, "I agree with you." Nice, Jen.

About fifteen minutes later, as we were leaving, we again heard the voice of the scolder a few aisles over yelling at her son, who looked to be about 10. "BOY, if you don't STOP ALLLLL DAT, I'ma hafta sock you to da GROUNNNDD!"

I never found a V-neck T-shirt in my size, unfortunately. But I suppose it was worth it since I got some good new lines to quote for the rest of the week. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've used the "I'ma hafta sock you to da GROUNNNDD" line about 97 times already.

Yemen? Yeah, Man.

This is a plug for my dear friend Haley's blog. Haley Sweetland Edwards is one of my best friends from way back. She just graduated from Columbia Journalism School and is currently traveling and reporting with the help of several International Reporting fellowships. She's living in Yemen, in a beautiful, old city called Sana'a.

Haley and I went to college a couple of hours from each other -- she was in New Haven and I was in Boston -- so in addition to sharing loads of hilarious high school memories, we also share quite a few college ones. And I think she would agree that our best memories surround the annual Harvard/Yale football game, which we attended each year. (I was always an honorary Yalie with Haley and her Yale crew. Boo Harvard!) Below is a picture of us (chugging cheap beer out of plastic cups, of course) at a tailgate our sophomore year of college, in November of 2002. (Note the blond streak in my hair. I thought I was *so* badass.)



We were the only of our friends to venture to the icy Northeast for college, and at the time, we both thought we were so far away from our Southern California homes. It's crazy to think that she is living on the other side of the world now.

Anyway, I digress. The real point of this post is to tell you that you should watch out for her stories in the headlines -- she just wrote two articles for the LA Times -- and you should also read about her adventures at www.sanaabureau.wordpress.com, which she describes as being part travel diary and part photo-blog.

Girl, I will cut you.

I'm obsessed with this skit right now. I can't stop quoting it.

Pink Elephant and Battle of the Crostini: Russian River Girls Weekend

This past weekend my six best friends from high school came together from New York City, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Jose and Davis for a long overdue girls weekend. We rented a house in Russian River Valley and had the quintessential girls weekend. We're talking everything from pedicures to Steel Magnolias. 

Here's a picture of us in high school, right before we all left for college: http://twitpic.com/8yxfa

And here's a picture of us (OMG in the *exact* same order) from this past weekend: http://twitpic.com/8yxiv

And here is a slideshow of the pictures from Katie's camera. (Mine--or Jen's, rather--unfortunately got lost somewhere between Point Reyes and my apartment. D'oh!) 

Hunky Jesus Contest, or, A Bunch of Sinners

I am way behind on updating, and don't have time for anything substantial right now, but wanted to post some pictures from Easter Sunday in Dolores Park, back in April. It was full of fun and irreverence, not least of which was the Hunky Jesus Contest. Featuring a pretty amazing Jesus look-alike--complete with "BRB" speech bubble shooting off the side of his crucifix--the contest was definitely a highlight. Other details from that day that are worth documenting photographically here (in order of appearance): gay men in thong easter bunny costumes; my shy, unshaved legs; and... god knows what.